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Oh hello there...

I was rereading my entries and realized that thanks to the advent of Small Children Going To School, life had actually become... *gasp!* bearable around here.

Now that they can actually communicate with real words, and generally feed/water/clothe/entertain themselves, the girls are a great deal less horrible than previous posts would have you believe. Their mother's still no prize, but hey. Can't win 'em all.

Bev did find a job, however. She's even held on to it for more than a week! I don't know exactly how long she's been working there, but I think she's working on her 4th month.

I wouldn't be over here if I didn't have something to complain about, so let me just offer you another tidbit from the "I don't understand why you're a parent" files:

Little Boots stayed home from school on Friday with a high fever. Like, 103 high. Bev went out on Friday night. LB woke up in the middle of the night with a nosebleed, came upstairs and not only got it stopped but washed her hands and face (and the scared the living daylights out of me because I'd been wearing headphones and writing and didn't know she was up and about). She was sad/scared because she couldn't find mommy, so I said she could hang out with me. We watched Shawn The Sheep for a while, and then her nose was itchy so she scratched it...

...yep, the clot came out and so did a waterfall of blood. (She must have nicked a little vein or something, because it was pouring out of her nose at a ridiculous rate.) I got it stopped and helped her clean up, and then we tried to calm down/go back to watching Shawn the Sheep. A few shorts later, she's telling me her tummy hurts when she's scared, that her throat and her stomach really hurt, and she's starting to cry. I get her up and out of bed, because there's only one solution to the situation: Wake up my mom. Just as we're going through the doorway to my room, LB starts to kind of cough and make these odd watery noises--Yeah, she threw up. Poor bug had apparently swallowed a couple of tablespoons of blood during her nosebleeds along with a bunch of mucus, and since she has a much smaller stomach, it was enough to make her sick.

I woke mom up just as LB started barfing, so she took over and got LB calmed down and cleaned up. I ended up having to deal with one of my own issues, but fortunately mom didn't need me for anything more than supplying a cold wet washcloth.

Bev made it home eventually... Some time after 4, which was when LB finally went back to sleep (while watching Sofia The First on my tablet, which I had loaned her).

Bev did call in to work so she could stay home with LB, but from what I remember, Bev really didn't do much differently than she did on previous occasions.

Oh, and she also started coming down with the same fever/cough/sneezy thing that LB has. Unlike her daughter, however, she went to see a doctor. Her kid has a fever that goes down and then goes back up for three days, meh, but she spends 24 hours not feeling so hot? To the ER it is!

You know what's fun?

It's so super-duper fun to tell someone that no one listens to you when you talk, to which they reply "that's not true"... Only to have them completely ignore you ten minutes later when you ask them a question (one which is explicitly addressed to them).

Oh wait NO IT ISN'T FUN AT ALL.

Oh, fuck you.

Cut because I'm ranting about an online game and it won't make any sense to anyone else. I just wanna yell.

No, really, I'm FINE.Collapse )
One of my walking clients is getting a puppy!

A border collie puppy!

... Fucking yippee.

See, these people are horrible housekeepers. Like, worse than I am, and I'm pretty bad at it. Like, I try really hard not to keep stuff in their fridge because it's so gross bad. The idea of them getting a puppy and bringing it into the house is... Yeah, I can't see that ending well. Not unless they spend the entire time between now and the puppy's arrival cleaning up the place.

So my first question was something along the lines of "gonna pick up all of those potential chew toys all over or what?"

The second one is even more rude: "So, are you going to alter this dog, or are you going to leave it intact so as to increase the net number of things peed on in the world?"

Oooh, I just thought of another one!

I was told that I would need to avoid letting it get into dog poop left by strange dogs/get too close to other dogs because "it wouldn't have all of its vaccinations for a week or so".

Ignoring, for the moment, that the duck shit on our usual route is more likely to carry the kind of bacteria that could cause illness (and that bacterial illnesses aren't usually vaccinated against), I have to wonder: why then will they undoubtedly be feeding a raw diet?

Ugh. I'm taking my unpleasant ass and going back to bed.


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I am a terrible promotional writer.

At least I wasn't reduced to figuratively standing by the punch-bowl and staring at the cute guys all night.

In other news, my Release Day Party was like all of my parties: tiny, quiet, and fun for all values of the word that include "semi-rambling posts on esoteric topics that no one reads".

Not that I'm angry, upset, disappointed, or otherwise dismayed -- I sort of half-expected it. Hell, if nothing else, I was able to keep up with the commenters!

Well, that explains that.

It's super irritating to supervise idiot children online. I guess that's why Bev doesn't do it.

WHY THE FUCK ISN'T SHE UP HERE DOING HER GODDAMN FUCKING JOB!?

Oh, because I am here and I can/will fucking do it. Because I'm half owner of the fucking computer that she's using and I believe that computer literacy is important and that kids should be allowed to use them and it's my own damn fault for being around and holding that belief.
"You know what's wrong with kids today? They like that polyphonic music stuff! When I was a young'un, we had a shofar and a gong and we LIKED it like that!"

Crosswalk's Todd Pruitt thinks all y'all need Jesus, not rock'n'roll. He says it's closer to paganism! than to God.

Because if there's one thing the Bible neglects to mention, it's making a joyful noise unto the Lord.

And no one in the Bible ever decided to sing a new song. Nope.

Nope, no record of anyone composing any music for God, like, anywhere, ever.

The Israelites only whined, never did they clamor joyously over their deliverance from the Egyptians. Not even Aaron's wife said a word about it, and her fellow women were too busy bellyaching about manna and quails to say anything, either.

(And later, they never sang to a gold baby cow.)

Work songs? Not a thing, not in the Bible, anyway.

Prophets were all gloom and doom and no singing. Ever.

David's triumph over Goliath? Eh. No one cared. Certainly not enough to, you know, make up a catchy little ditty about it.

Oh, and David was known only for his sheep-herding skills and his ability to throw a rock with a sling. There wasn't, like, an ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK OF THE BIBLE ATTRIBUTED TO HIM OR ANYTHING. \

Also, no one ever sang songs so that the unsaved might understand and then get right with God. You know, ministry. That totally never happened, guys.

The Ark of the Covenant? No one knew when it was moved, 'cause there wasn't, like, a parade or anything. I think it maybe got, like, one line in the whole book.

double-check

I Need Feminism Because...

My housemate, the ever-lovely and delightful Bev, posted this to Facebook (and I am not making this up): The idea of feminism is silly.

This is a woman who has worked outside the home, has availed herself of all of the privileges and appurtanences of feminism's many small victories, and JUST FIVE HOURS EARLIER posted about how she wasn't worried about one of her daughters being teased about being into "boy stuff" because, and I quote (again, not making this up): I think it's stupid how certain things are categorized as "boy stuff" or "girl stuff".

But feminism is SILLY.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH. So so glad I'm not home right now.

SHUT UP.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

...AND GO VERY FUCKING FAR AWAY.
I will not be rude, because asking if someone can't read is really really rude and uncalled for and NO SERIOUSLY HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MISS HALF OF AN ENTIRE SENTENCE IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING THE LINE YOU'RE CONFUSED BY!?!?!?!

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haine's brain's broken, haine has a headache, .guh
missmausie
Miss Mausie

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